I'm sorry, but something needs to be said. I was partying it up on my blue mage not long ago, in crawler's nest, in a (for the most part) good party. BLU, WAR, PLD, WHM, BLM, THF, BRD. Oh, fuck yeah. The only problem? We'll get to that in a minute. The gear was good, the exp was good, kill speed good, overall IQ level of the party good, individual fuckups? Oh yeah, we had a couple of those. We're in the party about two hours, and the BLM and WHM, who are in a static, had to go soon. No healers were LFP, so we decided that we would disband in fifteen minutes. Not five minutes later, the thief pulls a crawler. Alright, let's kick its ass.
Warrior uses provoke on the Maze Lizard.
...dumbass.
(Warrior) o shit lol
(Venlo) ...uh, what the hell?
(Warrior) np, ill zone it
And he starts running up the ramp.
(Bard) ...you know me or the BLM could have just slept it, right?
(Warrior) o lol
Thief defeats the Worker Crawler.
(Paladin) just zone now, or it'll link the whole room
And his HP slowly drops.
Wait for it...
(Warrior) shit, i was right by the zone
(Venlo) ...uh, hey.
(Thief) ?
(Venlo) BLM, cast escape.
(Black Mage) why?
(Venlo) Please, do it.
(Venlo) That lizard is probably on the way back here, ready to own the hell out of us.
(Black Mage) why? we didnt do anything to it
(Venlo) I'm telling you, it will come back.
(Black Mage) we're fine
(Venlo) dude...
Oh hey, is that a stampede? Wait, those don't look like bulls. And this isn't Spain either. Oh, fuck.
A horde of Maze Lizards rip the Black Mage to fucking pieces for 1827q526g damage.
Sucks to not have sopoforic equipped at a time like this, eh?
Bard begins casting Horde Lullaby on the Lizard.
Bard gets his ass handed to him for OVER NINE THOUSAAAND damage.
I hate to be right at a time like this but...
(Venlo) Fucking owned.
Did I say that out loud?
Anyway, the paladin and thief, for whatever reason, decide to try and fight the little bastards, while I'm running my ass off.
Wait for it...
Paladin falls to level 35.
Thief was defeated by the Maze Lizard.
(Paladin) their coming
Shit, shit.
=== Area: Rolanberry Fields ===
(Venlo) Damn, that sucked.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Did you say... YOURS?
Ok people, honestly. I'm tired of this. Before I begin, I'd just like to say that you own nothing.
NOTHING.
N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
N O T H I N G.
Need I continue? Based on how many asshats I've had to deal with on this issue, apparently so. But due to complete laziness, I'll just stop there and assume you get it. Please say you do.
So I'm in a party in nyzul, and the mob count is getting a bit low. Pretty soon, there aren't quite enough mobs. I head out for the next pull, and after I hit my ranged attack macro, I see the other puller try to elegy the mob I was targeting. Notice I didn't say it was mine. Just that I was targeting it. See the difference?
Bard>> {Excuse me...}
...you can't be serious.
Venlo>> N - O - T - H - I - N - G.
Bard> wtf?
Venlo>> Nevermind.
Venlo>> May I help you?
Bard>>well
Don't say it...
Bard>> You pulled my mob.
HULK SMASH
Venlo>> "your" mob?
Bard>> yes
Venlo>> So I claimed "your" mob,
Bard>> right
Venlo>> Oh fuck.
Bard>> what?
Venlo>> I think the system might be glitching.
Bard>> whys that?
Venlo>> Try having your party send a bug report after the party, I'll have all of my members do it too.
Bard>> what for?
Venlo>> Didn't you just say that I claimed your mob?
Bard>> well, yeah
Venlo>> So then what's the confusion?
Bard>> it isnt a bug, you pulled my mob
Venlo>> Wait wait, let me get this straight.
Venlo>> It isn't a bug, and I pulled "your" mob.
Bard>> right
Venlo>> So you didn't have claim on it?
Bard>> well, no
Venlo>> And it was your mob?
Bard>> yes
Venlo>> ...words fail me.
Venlo>> I'm not going to pull some sort of insult and say that your parents must have dropped you on your head as a child--
Bard>> lol
Venlo>> because it's quite obvious they punted you across the room.
Bard>> HEY
Venlo>> Until that mob's name turns red, you have no right to say it's yours.
Bard>> SHUT UP
Venlo>> So unless you want to turn this into an all out claim war,
Bard>> I SAID SHUT UP
Venlo>> I would highly recommend pulling your computer out of the wall immediately.
Bard>> STFU
Venlo>> SHIFT KEY FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN
Bard>> STOP THAT
Venlo>> CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
At that point, the staging point turned into one massive landfill of douchebaggery. Our DD were all running around claiming what they could, their whm tried to claim with holy, I stole just before he could cast, they voked our aggros, we claimed their mobs that had been pulled but slept, and it was all around madness for who could get the mobs.
Pretty soon, one of the other parties left, so more mobs became available from the lower shelf, but I'm not one to kill the spirit of good sport. Having some extra mobs around, I decided it was time for somebody to learn that sharing is caring. Except replace sharing with pissing Venlo off. And replace caring with suicide.
Anyhow, I decide to drop a gift on my little bard friend, seeing as how I stole his mob and all.
Venlo's ranged attack misses.
Venlo uses Steal.
Venlo steals a Colibri Feather from the Greater Colibri.
Venlo fails to mug the Greater Colibri.
Venlo: Hey buddy, I wanted to make it up to you for stealing your colibri earlier.
1 of Venlo's shadows absorbs the damage and disappears.
Bard: oh you bastard
1 of Venlo's shadows absorbs the damage and disappears.
Venlo uses Perfect Dodge.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Bard: you better fucking not...
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo: Here you go, have fun!
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo hides!
Bard: shit shit
I couldn't exactly tell what happened after that, I was laughing too hard to look at the screen. I think it had something to do with his entire party being ripped to shreds. Something like that, anyway. But please people, remember: Don't be retarded. You have rights to nothing until you're on that monster's hit list.
NOTHING.
N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
N O T H I N G.
Need I continue? Based on how many asshats I've had to deal with on this issue, apparently so. But due to complete laziness, I'll just stop there and assume you get it. Please say you do.
So I'm in a party in nyzul, and the mob count is getting a bit low. Pretty soon, there aren't quite enough mobs. I head out for the next pull, and after I hit my ranged attack macro, I see the other puller try to elegy the mob I was targeting. Notice I didn't say it was mine. Just that I was targeting it. See the difference?
Bard>> {Excuse me...}
...you can't be serious.
Venlo>> N - O - T - H - I - N - G.
Bard> wtf?
Venlo>> Nevermind.
Venlo>> May I help you?
Bard>>well
Don't say it...
Bard>> You pulled my mob.
HULK SMASH
Venlo>> "your" mob?
Bard>> yes
Venlo>> So I claimed "your" mob,
Bard>> right
Venlo>> Oh fuck.
Bard>> what?
Venlo>> I think the system might be glitching.
Bard>> whys that?
Venlo>> Try having your party send a bug report after the party, I'll have all of my members do it too.
Bard>> what for?
Venlo>> Didn't you just say that I claimed your mob?
Bard>> well, yeah
Venlo>> So then what's the confusion?
Bard>> it isnt a bug, you pulled my mob
Venlo>> Wait wait, let me get this straight.
Venlo>> It isn't a bug, and I pulled "your" mob.
Bard>> right
Venlo>> So you didn't have claim on it?
Bard>> well, no
Venlo>> And it was your mob?
Bard>> yes
Venlo>> ...words fail me.
Venlo>> I'm not going to pull some sort of insult and say that your parents must have dropped you on your head as a child--
Bard>> lol
Venlo>> because it's quite obvious they punted you across the room.
Bard>> HEY
Venlo>> Until that mob's name turns red, you have no right to say it's yours.
Bard>> SHUT UP
Venlo>> So unless you want to turn this into an all out claim war,
Bard>> I SAID SHUT UP
Venlo>> I would highly recommend pulling your computer out of the wall immediately.
Bard>> STFU
Venlo>> SHIFT KEY FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN
Bard>> STOP THAT
Venlo>> CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
At that point, the staging point turned into one massive landfill of douchebaggery. Our DD were all running around claiming what they could, their whm tried to claim with holy, I stole just before he could cast, they voked our aggros, we claimed their mobs that had been pulled but slept, and it was all around madness for who could get the mobs.
Pretty soon, one of the other parties left, so more mobs became available from the lower shelf, but I'm not one to kill the spirit of good sport. Having some extra mobs around, I decided it was time for somebody to learn that sharing is caring. Except replace sharing with pissing Venlo off. And replace caring with suicide.
Anyhow, I decide to drop a gift on my little bard friend, seeing as how I stole his mob and all.
Venlo's ranged attack misses.
Venlo uses Steal.
Venlo steals a Colibri Feather from the Greater Colibri.
Venlo fails to mug the Greater Colibri.
Venlo: Hey buddy, I wanted to make it up to you for stealing your colibri earlier.
1 of Venlo's shadows absorbs the damage and disappears.
Bard: oh you bastard
1 of Venlo's shadows absorbs the damage and disappears.
Venlo uses Perfect Dodge.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Bard: you better fucking not...
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo: Here you go, have fun!
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo hides!
Bard: shit shit
I couldn't exactly tell what happened after that, I was laughing too hard to look at the screen. I think it had something to do with his entire party being ripped to shreds. Something like that, anyway. But please people, remember: Don't be retarded. You have rights to nothing until you're on that monster's hit list.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Shadows of the Mind
So I'm spending my day in whitegate lfp on THF as usual when I see a particular shout that catches my interest.
Paladin: ISNM {Jade Sepulcher} {Do you need it?} uncap 1/6
Fuckin' sweet, may as well make some cash since it doesn't appear I'll be getting an invite before I have to log.
Venlo>> {Please invite me.}
So over the next couple minutes we manage to find a RDM, BLM, RNG, and MNK.
Everyone gets ready, we head to Jade Sepulcher, and begin the carnage. The plan was for when it uses boreas mantle; red mage casts sleepga, black mage thundaga3s them, we continue with the fight.
The first few runs go fairly smoothly, with an unlucky death here or there, and a few mild screw ups, but all wins. Particular notice went to the ranger, who didn't seem to speak very much English. And when I say speak English, I mean have an IQ high enough to not be considered handicapped.
As my luck would have it, I end up getting lotted for last fight. No problem, right?
(Venlo) Everyone ready?
(Monk) /
Red Mage begins casting Refresh on Red Mage.
(Black Mage) /
(Paladin) k
(Ranger) {Ready!}
(Red Mage) be right in
Red Mage casts Refresh.
Red Mage gains the effect of Refresh.
(Venlo) Going.
Red Mage begins casting Protect IV on Red Mage.
And so we enter.
Venlo begins casting Utsusemi: Ni on Venlo.
Ranger's ranged attack hits the Phantom Puk for 63 points of damage.
Venlo casts Utsusemi: Ni.
Venlo gains the effect of Copy Image.
All right, got the fight started and kickin' ass.
(Red Mage) uh... guys?
The Phantom Puk uses Boreas Mantle.
Black Mage begins casting Thundaga III on the Phantom Puk.
The Phantom Puk hits Paladin for 107 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk hits Paladin for 142 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk hits Paladin for 135 points of damage.
The Phantom Puks kill the living shit out of the Paladin for 738,294 points of damage.
(Venlo) ?
Black Mage casts Thundaga III.
The Phantom Puk takes 518 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,082 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,039 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,058 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,071 points of damage.
(Red Mage) i can't enter ><
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
(Venlo) ...what?
No the fuck wonder the Paladin died, the sleepga wasn't even in the area.
And guess whose fault it was that he wasn't.
Here's a hint: He doesn't speak very much English.
At this point, all I could see was a blinding light of rage and fury. And MPK. Oh, so much MPK.
Venlo uses Trick Attack.
Venlo readies Dancing Edge.
Venlo uses Dancing Edge. The Phantom Puk takes 839 points of damage.
There we go.
The Phantom Puk uses Boreas Mantle.
...holy shit, I think my luck just turned for the better.
The army of Phantom Puks rip the Ranger to pieces.
Ranger falls to level 74.
FUCK YEAH, SEAK- wait... shit!
1 of Venlo's shadows absorb the damage and disappear.
1 of Venlo's shadows absorb the damage and disappear.
1 of Venlo's shadows absorb the damage and disappear.
The Phantom Puk hits Venlo for 174 points of damage.
Venlo uses Perfect Dodge.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo uses Flee.
Venlo's movement speed is increased.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Exit the battlefield?
-----
>>Yes.
Lose buffer.
-----
Saving buffer...
winnar!
Honestly, I don't mind when people make small mistakes. Shit happens, and humans make mistakes. But only complete tards do shit like this. And that's where I draw the line.
Except replace line with moron. And replace draw with kill the shit out of. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Paladin: ISNM {Jade Sepulcher} {Do you need it?} uncap 1/6
Fuckin' sweet, may as well make some cash since it doesn't appear I'll be getting an invite before I have to log.
Venlo>> {Please invite me.}
So over the next couple minutes we manage to find a RDM, BLM, RNG, and MNK.
Everyone gets ready, we head to Jade Sepulcher, and begin the carnage. The plan was for when it uses boreas mantle; red mage casts sleepga, black mage thundaga3s them, we continue with the fight.
The first few runs go fairly smoothly, with an unlucky death here or there, and a few mild screw ups, but all wins. Particular notice went to the ranger, who didn't seem to speak very much English. And when I say speak English, I mean have an IQ high enough to not be considered handicapped.
As my luck would have it, I end up getting lotted for last fight. No problem, right?
(Venlo) Everyone ready?
(Monk) /
Red Mage begins casting Refresh on Red Mage.
(Black Mage) /
(Paladin) k
(Ranger) {Ready!}
(Red Mage) be right in
Red Mage casts Refresh.
Red Mage gains the effect of Refresh.
(Venlo) Going.
Red Mage begins casting Protect IV on Red Mage.
And so we enter.
Venlo begins casting Utsusemi: Ni on Venlo.
Ranger's ranged attack hits the Phantom Puk for 63 points of damage.
Venlo casts Utsusemi: Ni.
Venlo gains the effect of Copy Image.
All right, got the fight started and kickin' ass.
(Red Mage) uh... guys?
The Phantom Puk uses Boreas Mantle.
Black Mage begins casting Thundaga III on the Phantom Puk.
The Phantom Puk hits Paladin for 107 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk hits Paladin for 142 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk hits Paladin for 135 points of damage.
The Phantom Puks kill the living shit out of the Paladin for 738,294 points of damage.
(Venlo) ?
Black Mage casts Thundaga III.
The Phantom Puk takes 518 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,082 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,039 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,058 points of damage.
The Phantom Puk takes 1,071 points of damage.
(Red Mage) i can't enter ><
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
Black Mage defeats the Phantom Puk.
(Venlo) ...what?
No the fuck wonder the Paladin died, the sleepga wasn't even in the area.
And guess whose fault it was that he wasn't.
Here's a hint: He doesn't speak very much English.
At this point, all I could see was a blinding light of rage and fury. And MPK. Oh, so much MPK.
Venlo uses Trick Attack.
Venlo readies Dancing Edge.
Venlo uses Dancing Edge. The Phantom Puk takes 839 points of damage.
There we go.
The Phantom Puk uses Boreas Mantle.
...holy shit, I think my luck just turned for the better.
The army of Phantom Puks rip the Ranger to pieces.
Ranger falls to level 74.
FUCK YEAH, SEAK- wait... shit!
1 of Venlo's shadows absorb the damage and disappear.
1 of Venlo's shadows absorb the damage and disappear.
1 of Venlo's shadows absorb the damage and disappear.
The Phantom Puk hits Venlo for 174 points of damage.
Venlo uses Perfect Dodge.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo uses Flee.
Venlo's movement speed is increased.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Venlo dodges the attack.
Exit the battlefield?
-----
>>Yes.
Lose buffer.
-----
Saving buffer...
winnar!
Honestly, I don't mind when people make small mistakes. Shit happens, and humans make mistakes. But only complete tards do shit like this. And that's where I draw the line.
Except replace line with moron. And replace draw with kill the shit out of. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Go Go Gadget, Shitty Parties!
So I'm LFP again, (big surprise there) and happen to get a /tell from a ranger.
Ranger>> {Experience Points} {party} {Do you need it?}
Awesome, a party. I'll just keep my cool and ask the setup. Wouldn't want a bad party after all that time LFP now, would we?
Venlo>> OH GOD YES PLEASE
You have no idea how excruciating THF LFP time is.
Ranger>> 私は何を 理解しない ?
Venlo>> {Yes, please.}
Ranger>> {Gather together.} {Caedarva Mire}
So I grab food sanction, my squid sushi +1, and my empress band and head to Azouph Isle. When I get there, I get the invite, accept, and proceed to check peoples' gear. Red mage, not bad; Samurai, tachi of trials... why would anyone use that? not really bad gear besides that; Ranger, pretty good; Paladin, a bit crappy but nothing worth complaining over; and finally, Corsair,
...
.....
...is that a fucking Trump Gun?
*Venlo> why the fuck is this corsair using his AF gun?
*Nopax> I'm no doctor, but...
*Venlo> but?
*Nopax> it sounds like he has an extra 21st chromosome
Of course! That explains it all!
Not being one to put the handicapped at a higher disadvantage (in this case, losing a fanfuckingtastic thief), I decide to stay quiet and put up with it. I'm so nice.
What?
...stop laughing.
Moving on; not long into the party I notice a few things start to go wrong. And when I say go wrong, I mean absolutely retarded. And when I say things, I mean party members.
For starters, the corsair has been using evoker's roll for a long time now. Oh, no, that isn't the problem. His ailment apparently just prevents him from being able to keep more than one roll up at once. I guess I should be thankful, if he were pulling we probably wouldn't even have that.
Then again, I do like having useful party members. And his damage is ass, so I guess it can't hurt to ask...
(Venlo) Hey, do you mind giving the melee some rolls too?
(Corsair) what roll
(Venlo) Well, pretty much anything is ok, samurai, fighter, rogue, hunter, chaos rolls are all good.
(Corsair) k
Corsair uses Hunter's Roll!
Corsair rolls a 3!
Party gains the effect of Hunter's Roll!
Awesome, finally some melee boost.
...
Any day now...
...
Corsair's Double-up effect wears off.
Shit.
Oh well, at least he's starting to be of use.
Fast forward about five minutes...
(Venlo) Hey, can we get another roll?
Corsair uses Ninja Roll!
Corsair rolls a 5!
Party gains the effect of Ninja Roll!
The hell?
(Ranger) {Paladin} {Connection Lost} ; ;
Fantastic. Well, once he gets back, I notice something very odd. I pull, then get back to camp. And wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
Paladin uses Provoke on the Heraldic Imp.
There we go.
This goes on for about three or four fights before I have to ask;
(Venlo) Are you lagging or something?
(Paladin) sry
Uh... "sorry"? I hope that isn't a "no".
(Venlo) ?
Yep.
Next fight he definately cleaned up, though. He voked when the imp was only a few feet away from him.
...then every subsequent pull the DDs would end up tanking for about 10 seconds before he voked. And what happens when a Paladin is afk for the first 10 seconds of a fight against imps?
----------
Pull.
Fight.
10 seconds later, Paladin runs up to the mob and uses voke.
(Venlo) {Trick Attack} {Dancing Edge}
Heraldic Imp: FK U
The Heraldic Imp uses Abrasive Tantara.
Venlo gains the effect of WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
You are unable to perform that action.
(Venlo) DAMMIT
----------
...almost every fight for longer than I cared to remember. All the while the samurai likes to occasionally fight in front of the paladin, the afk paladin wonder does nearly nothing except look at the screen every few minutes to see if he's near the mob, I can't do shit because of it and he makes me look bad, and we (that is, the corsair, the red mage, occasionally the paladin, and any melee in range) get evoker's roll one of the following rolls once every ten minutes or so:
Actually, I'm too lazy to type them all. Just look up phantom roll and see what kind of amazing bonuses you can get from it. And when I say amazing, I mean HOW THE FUCK DID THIS CORSAIR GET PAST THE DUNES?!
Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore.
(Venlo) hey, Kleinfelter
(Corsair) who?
(Venlo) Who else?
(Corsair) me ?
(Venlo) No, I'm talking to that jnun over there.
(Corsair) k
(Venlo) Listen, Johnny, I know your disability prevents you from being able to party effectively but...
(Corsair) huh?
(Venlo) we're really sucking ass
(Venlo) and it isn't just you-
(Venlo) You actually jappen to be the only one with a half decent excuse.
(Corsair) excuse ?
(Samurai) the exp is fine
(Paladin) how much have we made so far?
Venlo's food effect wears off.
(Corsair) about 6k i think
...are you shitting me?
(Corsair) 5k without band
.....
Red Mage>> this paladin fucking sucks
Venlo>> Really? I hardly noticed.
Red Mage>> the COR looks like he bought his account too
Red Mage>> screw this, I'm force d/cing
What the hell is this lightbulb doing here?
Venlo>> wait-
Red Mage>> huh?
(Venlo) {Ranged Attack} >> Jnun, incoming.
Venlo>> Go for it.
(Samurai) rdm d/c
(Venlo) Damn.
(Corsair) pop at camp
Ok, so, I'm running back to camp with a Jnun, there's an imp like two feet from camp, the paladin is half afk, the red mage is d/cing, the corsair is retarded, and the jp ranger is running to the staging point. That seems about right.
Paladin starts casting Flash on the Jnun.
Paladin casts Flash.
The Jnun gains the effect of Flash.
The Heraldic Imp starts casting Thundaga III on Corsair.
Did I mention I love flee?
Oops, that wasn't flee. That was /disband.
Venlo uses Flee.
Venlo's movement speed is increased.
There we go.
Ranger>> {Experience Points} {party} {Do you need it?}
Awesome, a party. I'll just keep my cool and ask the setup. Wouldn't want a bad party after all that time LFP now, would we?
Venlo>> OH GOD YES PLEASE
You have no idea how excruciating THF LFP time is.
Ranger>> 私は何を 理解しない ?
Venlo>> {Yes, please.}
Ranger>> {Gather together.} {Caedarva Mire}
So I grab food sanction, my squid sushi +1, and my empress band and head to Azouph Isle. When I get there, I get the invite, accept, and proceed to check peoples' gear. Red mage, not bad; Samurai, tachi of trials... why would anyone use that? not really bad gear besides that; Ranger, pretty good; Paladin, a bit crappy but nothing worth complaining over; and finally, Corsair,
...
.....
...is that a fucking Trump Gun?
*Nopax> I'm no doctor, but...
Not being one to put the handicapped at a higher disadvantage (in this case, losing a fanfuckingtastic thief), I decide to stay quiet and put up with it. I'm so nice.
What?
...stop laughing.
Moving on; not long into the party I notice a few things start to go wrong. And when I say go wrong, I mean absolutely retarded. And when I say things, I mean party members.
For starters, the corsair has been using evoker's roll for a long time now. Oh, no, that isn't the problem. His ailment apparently just prevents him from being able to keep more than one roll up at once. I guess I should be thankful, if he were pulling we probably wouldn't even have that.
Then again, I do like having useful party members. And his damage is ass, so I guess it can't hurt to ask...
(Venlo) Hey, do you mind giving the melee some rolls too?
(Corsair) what roll
(Venlo) Well, pretty much anything is ok, samurai, fighter, rogue, hunter, chaos rolls are all good.
(Corsair) k
Corsair uses Hunter's Roll!
Corsair rolls a 3!
Party gains the effect of Hunter's Roll!
Awesome, finally some melee boost.
...
Any day now...
...
Corsair's Double-up effect wears off.
Shit.
Oh well, at least he's starting to be of use.
Fast forward about five minutes...
(Venlo) Hey, can we get another roll?
Corsair uses Ninja Roll!
Corsair rolls a 5!
Party gains the effect of Ninja Roll!
The hell?
(Ranger) {Paladin} {Connection Lost} ; ;
Fantastic. Well, once he gets back, I notice something very odd. I pull, then get back to camp. And wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
Paladin uses Provoke on the Heraldic Imp.
There we go.
This goes on for about three or four fights before I have to ask;
(Venlo) Are you lagging or something?
(Paladin) sry
Uh... "sorry"? I hope that isn't a "no".
(Venlo) ?
Yep.
Next fight he definately cleaned up, though. He voked when the imp was only a few feet away from him.
...then every subsequent pull the DDs would end up tanking for about 10 seconds before he voked. And what happens when a Paladin is afk for the first 10 seconds of a fight against imps?
----------
Pull.
Fight.
10 seconds later, Paladin runs up to the mob and uses voke.
(Venlo) {Trick Attack} {Dancing Edge}
Heraldic Imp: FK U
The Heraldic Imp uses Abrasive Tantara.
Venlo gains the effect of WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
You are unable to perform that action.
(Venlo) DAMMIT
----------
...almost every fight for longer than I cared to remember. All the while the samurai likes to occasionally fight in front of the paladin, the afk paladin wonder does nearly nothing except look at the screen every few minutes to see if he's near the mob, I can't do shit because of it and he makes me look bad, and we (that is, the corsair, the red mage, occasionally the paladin, and any melee in range) get evoker's roll one of the following rolls once every ten minutes or so:
Actually, I'm too lazy to type them all. Just look up phantom roll and see what kind of amazing bonuses you can get from it. And when I say amazing, I mean HOW THE FUCK DID THIS CORSAIR GET PAST THE DUNES?!
Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore.
(Venlo) hey, Kleinfelter
(Corsair) who?
(Venlo) Who else?
(Corsair) me ?
(Venlo) No, I'm talking to that jnun over there.
(Corsair) k
(Venlo) Listen, Johnny, I know your disability prevents you from being able to party effectively but...
(Corsair) huh?
(Venlo) we're really sucking ass
(Venlo) and it isn't just you-
(Venlo) You actually jappen to be the only one with a half decent excuse.
(Corsair) excuse ?
(Samurai) the exp is fine
(Paladin) how much have we made so far?
Venlo's food effect wears off.
(Corsair) about 6k i think
...are you shitting me?
(Corsair) 5k without band
.....
Red Mage>> this paladin fucking sucks
Venlo>> Really? I hardly noticed.
Red Mage>> the COR looks like he bought his account too
Red Mage>> screw this, I'm force d/cing
What the hell is this lightbulb doing here?
Venlo>> wait-
Red Mage>> huh?
(Venlo) {Ranged Attack} >> Jnun, incoming.
Venlo>> Go for it.
(Samurai) rdm d/c
(Venlo) Damn.
(Corsair) pop at camp
Ok, so, I'm running back to camp with a Jnun, there's an imp like two feet from camp, the paladin is half afk, the red mage is d/cing, the corsair is retarded, and the jp ranger is running to the staging point. That seems about right.
Paladin starts casting Flash on the Jnun.
Paladin casts Flash.
The Jnun gains the effect of Flash.
The Heraldic Imp starts casting Thundaga III on Corsair.
Did I mention I love flee?
Oops, that wasn't flee. That was /disband.
Venlo uses Flee.
Venlo's movement speed is increased.
There we go.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
...thieves.
Alternate title: Learn to play your damn job.
Honestly, 90% of the thieves I see have no freaking clue how to play the game. I'm almost surprised they figured out how to get a subjob.
For those of you who don't know me, I'm a 75 thief. Yes, I am a thief. Now, I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone else. Other people have already said it for me. But please, if you're going to take up a job that requires skill to play, GET SOME DAMN SKILL. If you ever have partied with a 75 thief who looks like he has just taken up the job, you know exactly what I mean. If you haven't, you probably are one of these thieves. They're everywhere.
Here's a story about a retard and a thief fed up with long lfp times.
Ok, so, I'm walking around whitegate, going on my 79th hour lfp. As I'm bashing my head against my monitor, I notice someone who appears to be a 64 thief. Notice I said appears to be.
He's wearing the AF... he's got a dagger... but wait...
![]()
http://images.wikia.com/ffxi/images/3/32/Rougesbonnet.jpg
![]()
http://images.wikia.com/ffxi/images/3/3d/Roguesvest.jpg
![]()
http://images.wikia.com/ffxi/images/9/99/Nomad%27s_Mantle.jpg
![]()
http://images.wikia.com/ffxi/images/0/06/Wingearring.JPG
His gear is ass. Being the kind, reasonable, patient person that I am, I decided to educate said thief on proper gear choice.
Venlo>> Excuse me...
Thief>> wut?
Great. English is his second language.
Venlo>> Well, I was looking at your gear and...
Venlo>> Well, it's shit.
Damn. I should really look into that not being an asshole thing.
Thief>> gtfo
Venlo>> Thanks, I try.
Venlo>> Why do you use your AF head and body?
Thief>> bc its the AF, SE made it 4 thfs
Venlo>> SE is fucktarded.
Venlo>> No job's AF is good except for maybe paladin.
Venlo>> And pup, I guess. but that's only because everything they can equip is shit anyway.
Thief>> r u trying 2 tel me 2 change my gear ?
Venlo>> No dipshit, we're having a tea party.
Venlo>> As a fellow thief, I highly recommend that you get some better gear.
Thief>> gtfo
*sigh* Just keep your patience, it will mean one less retard in the thief community.
Venlo>> Attack earrings would do you better good than agility, and amemet mantle costs about half as much as nomad's mantle.
Thief>> go away or ill call a GM 4 u harasing me
Did he just say... GM?
Venlo>> Really?
Fun, fun, fun.
Thief>> I jsut calld a GM 4 harasment
Several minutes tick by as my faith in humanity plummets, and finally I get a tell from my favorite GM friend, [GM]Embub. Except replace friend with dumbass. And replace GM with brainless.
Well, as I have my conversation with said brainless dumbass, it becomes relevant to me that a monkey could do a better job than this piece of crap. (Note to self: consider becoming GM to dominate Vana'diel.) I pretend to acknowledge everything he says while plotting a friendly adventure with my great pal, the thief.
Venlo>> Hey.
Thief>> wut?
Venlo>> Sorry for being an ass earlier.
Thief>> np
Venlo>> Would you like to camp an NM with me?
Wait for it...
Thief>> sure!
Ding!
Venlo>> Alright, meet me in korroloka tunnel.
Thief>> morion worm ?
Venlo>> No, these are much better.
Thief>> kk
Anyhow, I grab my warp cudgel and a silent oil head to korroloka with my favorite thief friend, and we work our way to (G-9) of the 4th map. For those of you who don't know what resides at (G-9) on map numero fouro, it's my favorite NM. Well, NMs. There's three of them. I personally like to call them Bruce, John, and WHATTHEHELLIMBEINGEATEN, but most people refer to them as Jammer Leeches.
Venlo>> Alright, these are them.
Thief>> sweet, lets fight
Bait.
Venlo>> Ok, I'll fight the one on the right, you get the one in the middle.
Thief>> which 1? their pretty close
Venlo>> Don't worry, they don't link.
Thief>> k
So I ranged attack Jammer Leech John with my crossbow and start running, use a silent oil, and run through a puddle of water; all the while the other thief is trying to fight off Bruce and his linked buddy WHATTHEHELLIMBEINGEATEN. Did I say they didn't link? Oops.
Switch.
Now, a resourceful thief would have hit perfect dodge. A resourceful thief would have used flee and saved his own sorry ass. This idiot was not a resourceful thief.
Dumbass falls to level 63.
Venlo>> Holy shit, dude, are you ok?
Your tell was not recieved. The recipient has deleted his content I.D. and converted to WoW.
Hey, I was right. One less retard in the thief community.
Honestly people, either learn to play your job well with decent gear or get a new damn job.
It's people like this that make the good thieves spend hours upon hours lfp.
Honestly, 90% of the thieves I see have no freaking clue how to play the game. I'm almost surprised they figured out how to get a subjob.
For those of you who don't know me, I'm a 75 thief. Yes, I am a thief. Now, I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone else. Other people have already said it for me. But please, if you're going to take up a job that requires skill to play, GET SOME DAMN SKILL. If you ever have partied with a 75 thief who looks like he has just taken up the job, you know exactly what I mean. If you haven't, you probably are one of these thieves. They're everywhere.
Here's a story about a retard and a thief fed up with long lfp times.
Ok, so, I'm walking around whitegate, going on my 79th hour lfp. As I'm bashing my head against my monitor, I notice someone who appears to be a 64 thief. Notice I said appears to be.
He's wearing the AF... he's got a dagger... but wait...
His gear is ass. Being the kind, reasonable, patient person that I am, I decided to educate said thief on proper gear choice.
Venlo>> Excuse me...
Thief>> wut?
Great. English is his second language.
Venlo>> Well, I was looking at your gear and...
Venlo>> Well, it's shit.
Damn. I should really look into that not being an asshole thing.
Thief>> gtfo
Venlo>> Thanks, I try.
Venlo>> Why do you use your AF head and body?
Thief>> bc its the AF, SE made it 4 thfs
Venlo>> SE is fucktarded.
Venlo>> No job's AF is good except for maybe paladin.
Venlo>> And pup, I guess. but that's only because everything they can equip is shit anyway.
Thief>> r u trying 2 tel me 2 change my gear ?
Venlo>> No dipshit, we're having a tea party.
Venlo>> As a fellow thief, I highly recommend that you get some better gear.
Thief>> gtfo
*sigh* Just keep your patience, it will mean one less retard in the thief community.
Venlo>> Attack earrings would do you better good than agility, and amemet mantle costs about half as much as nomad's mantle.
Thief>> go away or ill call a GM 4 u harasing me
Did he just say... GM?
Venlo>> Really?
Fun, fun, fun.
Thief>> I jsut calld a GM 4 harasment
Several minutes tick by as my faith in humanity plummets, and finally I get a tell from my favorite GM friend, [GM]Embub. Except replace friend with dumbass. And replace GM with brainless.
Well, as I have my conversation with said brainless dumbass, it becomes relevant to me that a monkey could do a better job than this piece of crap. (Note to self: consider becoming GM to dominate Vana'diel.) I pretend to acknowledge everything he says while plotting a friendly adventure with my great pal, the thief.
Venlo>> Hey.
Thief>> wut?
Venlo>> Sorry for being an ass earlier.
Thief>> np
Venlo>> Would you like to camp an NM with me?
Wait for it...
Thief>> sure!
Ding!
Venlo>> Alright, meet me in korroloka tunnel.
Thief>> morion worm ?
Venlo>> No, these are much better.
Thief>> kk
Anyhow, I grab my warp cudgel and a silent oil head to korroloka with my favorite thief friend, and we work our way to (G-9) of the 4th map. For those of you who don't know what resides at (G-9) on map numero fouro, it's my favorite NM. Well, NMs. There's three of them. I personally like to call them Bruce, John, and WHATTHEHELLIMBEINGEATEN, but most people refer to them as Jammer Leeches.
Venlo>> Alright, these are them.
Thief>> sweet, lets fight
Bait.
Venlo>> Ok, I'll fight the one on the right, you get the one in the middle.
Thief>> which 1? their pretty close
Venlo>> Don't worry, they don't link.
Thief>> k
So I ranged attack Jammer Leech John with my crossbow and start running, use a silent oil, and run through a puddle of water; all the while the other thief is trying to fight off Bruce and his linked buddy WHATTHEHELLIMBEINGEATEN. Did I say they didn't link? Oops.
Switch.
Now, a resourceful thief would have hit perfect dodge. A resourceful thief would have used flee and saved his own sorry ass. This idiot was not a resourceful thief.
Dumbass falls to level 63.
Venlo>> Holy shit, dude, are you ok?
Your tell was not recieved. The recipient has deleted his content I.D. and converted to WoW.
Hey, I was right. One less retard in the thief community.
Honestly people, either learn to play your job well with decent gear or get a new damn job.
It's people like this that make the good thieves spend hours upon hours lfp.
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